Not happy...just comfortable. I look in the mirror and I don't hate what I see but then someone takes a picture and I look huge. Not just a few pounds overweight, but freakin' huge...like tape that girl's mouth shut huge. You know I see it but food makes me feel better...and I loves me some food!
Is anyone really happy anyway? What makes us happy? My shrink says that my relationship DOES NOT make me happy, but the drugs I am taking make me think sometimes that I am. It's not my relationship, it's the drugs. Makes sense to me but than I am the bad guy all over again. I would be perfectly content on my own without worrying about anyone but me and my girls but then the world would collapse and it's my fault...again.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
I need my drugs!!!
Since I don't have any insurance, or money!, a few weeks ago I called the County to see if they had a program that helps with Mental Health like where I used to live. Surprise! They don't! This State talks up Health Care and has some amazing programs but what about mental health?? Have they no idea how important it is??
So I found a center which see people and charges them based on a sliding scale, and they are reimbursed from the Government with a grant. Problem is, they have SO MANY clients that they are constantly booked to the max and it's next to impossible to see the DR to get a prescription. So you sit in with a counselor each week and wait...and wait...and wait. Now if you've been to counseling you know that it takes AT LEAST 3 weeks for that person to get to know YOU. This place is so packed they are now converting us into 'Group Sessions' and I really would like to know what good am I going to get out of it? My therapist barely knows anything about me and starting Tuesday I will be in a Group talking about the local fruit market. I told her I would be willing to go into Group IF this means that I will get to see the DR. so I can get my meds. (I can get a prescription from my family dr but it is $160/mth compared to this clinic at $5!)
After speaking to one of my bffs the other day -- she has a month's supply of Cymbalta that she wants to mail me...I took a 30mg I had left over that I was saving. I have a few 60mgs and hopefully her supply will come soon. I really can't stand myself. The panic attacks are common and, in plain english, I am just a miserable person.
Not everyone does well on Cymbalta. Have you seen that little cartoon email with the anti-depressant Fuckitol? The pix of the pill is a 60mg Cymbalta. They are THAT good. I lost weight...I just didn't care about anything. We'll get into that later...
So I found a center which see people and charges them based on a sliding scale, and they are reimbursed from the Government with a grant. Problem is, they have SO MANY clients that they are constantly booked to the max and it's next to impossible to see the DR to get a prescription. So you sit in with a counselor each week and wait...and wait...and wait. Now if you've been to counseling you know that it takes AT LEAST 3 weeks for that person to get to know YOU. This place is so packed they are now converting us into 'Group Sessions' and I really would like to know what good am I going to get out of it? My therapist barely knows anything about me and starting Tuesday I will be in a Group talking about the local fruit market. I told her I would be willing to go into Group IF this means that I will get to see the DR. so I can get my meds. (I can get a prescription from my family dr but it is $160/mth compared to this clinic at $5!)
After speaking to one of my bffs the other day -- she has a month's supply of Cymbalta that she wants to mail me...I took a 30mg I had left over that I was saving. I have a few 60mgs and hopefully her supply will come soon. I really can't stand myself. The panic attacks are common and, in plain english, I am just a miserable person.
Not everyone does well on Cymbalta. Have you seen that little cartoon email with the anti-depressant Fuckitol? The pix of the pill is a 60mg Cymbalta. They are THAT good. I lost weight...I just didn't care about anything. We'll get into that later...
Friday, April 3, 2009
BAD Nose Job
After having spent my entire life feeling sub par about my nose, I decided to have work done. LOTS of work, all over (we'll get into that later). The biggest mistake of my life was to be pulled in by all the commericals on the morning radio. I was pulled in by the hype of Dr. Gregory Roche http://www.drroche.com/ After all, he's worked on the Pistons, the Tigers and dozens of 'famous people'. Once again -- I was suckered in by my insecurities. $12000 later, check out what my nose looks like after he butchered it. Just call me Gonzo.
Bloomfield Laser & Cosmetic Surgery Center 43494 Woodward - Suite 101 Bloomfield Hills, MI 48302 Tel. 248.338.1110
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